Forums / The hangaround / LOL WTF

Cheezedawg: Hi
Cheezedawg: What's up, cutie?
lovedove1981: Nothin
Cheezedawg: How about you and me gettin' it on?
lovedove1981: I dun think so
Cheezedawg: Hows come?
lovedove1981: cause I dun know u
Cheezedawg: what difference does that make?
lovedove1981: I dun mess around with ppl I dun know
Cheezedawg: My name is Cheeze
Cheezedawg: I'm 26 and have long blonde hair
Cheezedawg: I enjoy mountain biking and drinking Jack Daniels
lovedove1981: quite a combo lol
Cheezedawg: You don't like Jack Daniels?
lovedove1981: Not too much
Cheezedawg: Then what good are you?
Cheezedawg: Probably lousy in the sack too
lovedove1981: Get fucked
Cheezedawg: Ok! What time? Now?
lovedove1981: Not with me asshole
lovedove1981: Go fuck yourself
Cheezedawg: Why are you being so mean to me?
lovedove1981: U started it!
Cheezedawg: No I didn't!
lovedove1981: u said I was bad in bed!
Cheezedawg: Well..are you?
lovedove1981: Fuck off
Cheezedawg: No
lovedove1981: Yes
Cheezedawg: No
lovedove1981: Yes
Cheezedawg: No
lovedove1981: your so stupid
cheezedawg: Yes
lovedove1981: No
Cheezedawg: Ok
Cheezedawg: what do you wanna talk about?
lovedove1981: ???
lovedove1981: Nthing with u
Cheezedawg: Anything? Ok, how about we talk about your ability to suck dicks.
lovedove1981: NO FUCKHEAD! NOTHING! NOT ANYTHING!
Cheezedawg: But I love you.
lovedove1981: Whatever
Cheezedawg: I mean it..
Cheezedawg: I really do.
lovedove1981: Leave me alone!
Cheezedawg: This is the thanks I get?
lovedove1981: For what? Being a jerk?
Cheezedawg: No. For trying to make friends.
lovedove1981: U got a lot to learn
Cheezedawg: About what?
lovedove1981: Everything!
Cheezedawg: I'm so stupid. I can never talk to girls.
lovedove1981: well try being more polite for starters
Cheezedawg: Oh yeah? What do you mean?
lovedove1981: Don't talk about sex
Cheezedawg: People don't like sex?
lovedove1981: yea but get to know them first.
lovedove1981: Then talk about it if both are comfortable with it.
Cheezedawg: Ok. So I should ask them their name first?
lovedove1981: That would help.
Cheezedawg: Ok
Cheezedawg: lets practice.
lovedove1981: no
Cheezedawg: Why?
lovedove1981: Try it on someone else.
Cheezedawg: Whats wrong? I just want some help.
Cheezedawg: come on.
Cheezedawg: Pleeeease?
Cheezedawg: Plese just let me try to be nice. I'm sorry.
lovedove1981: fine.
Cheezedawg: ok. Thank you!
Cheezedawg: I'll start.
Cheezedawg: Hi I am Cheeze! Whats your name?
lovedove1981: Linda.
Cheezedawg: I am very pleased to meet you, Linda!!
lovedove1981: You too
Cheezedawg: Do you think that I am polite?
lovedove1981: So far so good
Cheezedawg: Thank you!
Cheezedawg: Now that we've met...
Cheezedawg: can I put my cock in your cum-dumpster?
lovedove1981: Fuck u
Cheezedawg: What?
Cheezedawg: What's the matter?
lovedove1981: You don't get it, nevermind.
Cheezedawg: I did what you told me to do!
lovedove1981: I said don't talk about sex!
Cheezedawg: You said get to know them first.
Cheezedawg: I learned your name.
lovedove1981: You have to learn more than that!
Cheezedawg: What else?
lovedove1981: Things
Cheezedawg: What things?
Cheezedawg: What else should I do?
lovedove1981: Look, just leave me alone. I have to go talk to someone
Cheezedawg: But I don't want you to go
lovedove1981: Sorry
Cheezedawg: Please stay and help me.
lovedove1981: I can't
Cheezedawg: Can't? ...or won't?
lovedove1981: Both
Cheezedawg: You're so mean. I just want to learn to talk to girls.
Cheezedawg: Im sorry. Will you please help me. I really mean it
lovedove1981: I don't have time to goof off like this I am working
Cheezedawg: this is the reason that I am so depressed all the time
Cheezedawg: i just want to learn to talk to girls
lovedove1981: well youll just scare them away
lovedove1981: no girl will go for that kind of talk
Cheezedawg: Some girls do
Cheezedawg: they like it
lovedove1981: Well go talk to them then. leave me alone
Cheezedawg: Please will you just try once more?
Cheezedawg: let's start over, just one more time.
Cheezedawg: I promise I can do better
Cheezedawg: Please Linda? Don't give up on me like this
Cheezedawg: Here. I'm going to start again
Cheezedawg: Hi there, I know you don't know me
Cheezedawg: but I saw your profile on IM and wondered of you'd like to chat with me.
Cheezedawg: My name is Cheeze, and I am 26.
Cheezedawg: I am from Maryland, and there is a photo on my profile if you'd like to see what I look like.
lovedove1981: that was a little better but you sound old now
Cheezedawg: I understand that you might be busy
Cheezedawg: but I think you're very attractive and would love to chat with you some time.
Cheezedawg: How am I doing?
lovedove1981: good. see, you can be polite if you really try
Cheezedawg: I think I understand now.
Cheezedawg: Assuming that girls will instantly talk to me about sex will get me nowhere.
lovedove1981: thats what i was saying
Cheezedawg: I have to get to know them first.
Cheezedawg: And even then, not all women are going to appriciate that kind of language.
lovedove1981: that's right. i am impressed
Cheezedawg: Thank you. I'm sorry about before.
Cheezedawg: I hope i didn't offend you with any of that vulgar language.
lovedove1981: no. i'm a big girl. I can take it.
lovedove1981: am i talking to the same person?
Cheezedawg: Hey, i know this is kind of forward of me, and that I really don't know you all that well yet..
Cheezedawg: But I really do think you're cute
Cheezedawg: and since we're both in Maryland, and not too far from eachother
Cheezedawg: Do you think you would like to go out sometime?
lovedove1981: hmm I don't think so
Cheezedawg: I understand. It's ok.
lovedove1981: I dont even know your real name
Cheezedawg: Oh, I'm sorry. I should have told you before. It's John.
lovedove1981: hi John
lovedove1981: do you go to salisbury too?
Cheezedawg: Do you mean am I a student there? No.
Cheezedawg: But I do use the library sometimes. It's very nice.
Cheezedawg: I guess it just takes me a little while to get comfortable with someone.
lovedove1981: lol I'll say. you come off as a freak
Cheezedawg: How about this?
Cheezedawg: Maybe we can meet at the library sometime and get some lunch together?
Cheezedawg: I'm really sorry for making such a terrible impression on you at first.
lovedove1981: probably not I have class 8:40 to 5
Cheezedawg: wow, that's a pretty long day.
Cheezedawg: Do you get a break in there at all?
lovedove1981: 12 to 1 i do but I am usually studying
Cheezedawg: How about if I meet you this Wednesday?
lovedove1981: i never ever meet people from the internet
lovedove1981: too many freaks :)
Cheezedawg: That's cool. I understand. I just figured since we both go to the same school and all.
Cheezedawg: It's not so weird when you think of it that way. We're practically neighbors.
Cheezedawg: Maybe I'll see you at the library sometime.
Cheezedawg: That would be a lot less strange for the both of us.
lovedove1981: well if I ever see you don't come up and start talkign to me about sucking cock ok?
Cheezedawg: I'm really sorry. I am a total idiot for talking to you that way.
Cheezedawg: I was really just goofing around
Cheezedawg: I didn't mean any of that. I guess i just have a sick sense of humor, that's all
lovedove1981: yeah you do
lovedove1981: that might be cute if i knew you but saying that to strangers is weird John
Cheezedawg: I know. I'm so bad at talking to girls.
Cheezedawg: I always have been.
Cheezedawg: I guess I'm just shy
Cheezedawg: well maybe i'll see you around school.
lovedove1981: maybe
Cheezedawg: It was nice to meet you.
lovedove1981: you too
Cheezedawg: ok, bye.
lovedove1981: hey
Cheezedawg: Yeah?
lovedove1981: i usually hang out in the Quad on my break
Cheezedawg: well maybe I'll see you there some time then :)
lovedove1981: maybe
lovedove1981: :)
Cheezedawg: I'll bring a hatchet with me and bury it in the back of your skull.
lovedove1981: WHAT!!
Cheezedawg: Yeah, then I'll gonna lick your blood off of it and wipe my tounge on your shirt!
Cheezedawg: Then I'll rape the wound it left!
Cheezedawg: and cum on your fucking brain!
lovedove1981: Fuck you
lovedove1981: Leave me alone or I'll call the cops
Cheezedawg: What?
Cheezedawg: No, wait!
Cheezedawg: That doesn't turn you on?
lovedove1981: NO!!!
Cheezedawg: Girls don't like that either?
lovedove1981: NOOOOO!!!!
Cheezedawg: But I didn't even say anything about sex that time.
Cheezedawg: I was talking about my cock squeezing in between your brain lobes...
lovedove1981: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
Cheezedawg: Your eyeball poking in and out from the backforce....
Cheezedawg: My hot love juice squirting on your medula oblongada...
lovedove1981: LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
Cheezedawg: I wanna fuck your brain!
Cheezedawg: So do you still want to have lunch with me?
Cheezedawg: Dammit. I'm sorry. I always screw things up.
Cheezedawg: Dammit. I am such an idiot.
Cheezedawg: Ok. No sex, and no killing. DAMMIT.
Cheezedawg: I'll just meet you on Wednesday anyway.
Cheezedawg: We'll talk more then.
lovedove1981: <User Has Logged Out>
Cheezedawg: hello?

lol stoned so fcking funny mann XD

lol XD

hahaa

MORE....MORE.....MORE......MORE!!!

There's plenty more here and nearly all of them are extremly funny as hell

You can see in this Lovedove clearly isnt a british girl

This one is so sick but funny:
rebecca_east: Are you planning on keeping the child?
EvilSarahBitch: I don't have a choice.
rebecca_east: Yes you do!
EvilSarahBitch: You don't understand. I don't want this child!
rebecca_east: There are other options you know.
EvilSarahBitch: Like what?
rebecca_east: Abortion. Adoption. Even letting a family member adopt the child might work.
EvilSarahBitch: I can't abort the child. People wouldn't like it if I did that.
rebecca_east: It's your body and your choice.
EvilSarahBitch: I thought about giving the child up for adoption but no one wanted it.
rebecca_east: Someone would want it I'm sure.
EvilSarahBitch: It's not my body. It's the child's body.
rebecca_east: No Sweety. Its YOUR body. No one can tell you what to do with YOUR own body!
EvilSarahBitch: So.... even though its the child's body, because it came from me...makes it mine?
rebecca_east: Exactly.
EvilSarahBitch: Have you ever had one done before?
rebecca_east: Yes.
EvilSarahBitch: Was the father upset?
rebecca_east: It's a bad subject.
rebecca_east: :(
EvilSarahBitch: Are you upset that you had it done?
rebecca_east: No not at all.
EvilSarahBitch: Then why is it bad?
EvilSarahBitch: Rebecca?
rebecca_east: Don't worry about it.
EvilSarahBitch: Please tell me.
EvilSarahBitch: I need your help.
EvilSarahBitch: I want to know about your experience.
rebecca_east: no
EvilSarahBitch: I figured as much. You're a feminist aren't you?
EvilSarahBitch: I guess a weak girl like me isn't worth your time.
rebecca_east: Yes I am a feminist but that has nothing to do with it.
EvilSarahBitch: Then what are you hiding?
EvilSarahBitch: I won't say anything.
EvilSarahBitch: Tell me.
rebecca_east: I was raped. Thats why I had mine done.
EvilSarahBitch: Did your husband do it?
rebecca_east: No. The man went to prison and is set to be released in Septemeber.
rebecca_east: :(
rebecca_east: Grrrrrr
EvilSarahBitch: I'm sorry. Don't get upset now.
rebecca_east: My family is very religious and didn't want me to abort.
rebecca_east: But its my body and my choice.
rebecca_east: I would have grown to hate the child.
EvilSarahBitch: Like I hate mine?
rebecca_east: I imagine so.
rebecca_east: We're off subject
rebecca_east: This started off with a discussion about your baby.
EvilSarahBitch: It's not a baby.
rebecca_east: Right. I didn't mean to use that word.
EvilSarahBitch: So what should I do?
rebecca_east: It's your choice. Just make sure no one trys to influence your decision.
EvilSarahBitch: If you were in my situation what would you do?
rebecca_east: I don't know. Is the father a decent man?
EvilSarahBitch: He's dead.
rebecca_east: OMG I'm sorry
EvilSarahBitch: It's ok. I've learned to get by without him.
EvilSarahBitch: He got hit by a garbage truck.
EvilSarahBitch: He was an asshole anyways.
rebecca_east: LOL
rebecca_east: Well. The choice is yours.
rebecca_east: Just remember that its YOUR body.
rebecca_east: No one else's.
EvilSarahBitch: Ok.
rebecca_east: :)
EvilSarahBitch: I'm gonna do it.
EvilSarahBitch: Thank you Rebecca.
rebecca_east: You're welcome. I'm always here if you need me afterwards.
EvilSarahBitch: Afterwards?
rebecca_east: Yes. Some women find it difficult to cope after the incident.
EvilSarahBitch: I'll remember that. Thanks again.
----15 minutes later----

EvilSarahBitch: Alright! Rebecca I did it!
rebecca_east: Did what?
EvilSarahBitch: Aborted the child.
rebecca_east: LOL
rebecca_east: In the last ten minutes??
EvilSarahBitch: Yes. I did it.
rebecca_east: You mean at home??!!?
EvilSarahBitch: Yes.
rebecca_east: OMGGGG did you use a clotheshanger or something?
rebecca_east: OMGGGGGG
EvilSarahBitch: No I used a knife.
rebecca_east: A KNIFE?!?!?
EvilSarahBitch: Yes I cut it's throat.
rebecca_east: JESUS!!!
rebecca_east: GO TO THE HOSPITAL!
EvilSarahBitch: I'm not hurt
rebecca_east: What trimester are you in?
EvilSarahBitch: Huh?
EvilSarahBitch: What trimester?
rebecca_east: Yes. How many months have you been pregnant?
rebecca_east: A trimester is three months, so if you're over 3 months, you're in your second trimester.
EvilSarahBitch: I guess then technically I was in my 17th trimester.
rebecca_east: huh?
EvilSarahBitch: Yes
rebecca_east: You mean you already had this child?
EvilSarahBitch: Yeah, about 4 years ago. And I just aborted it.
EvilSarahBitch: The little fucker wouldn't stop wearing my shoes.
rebecca_east: WHAT?!?!?
EvilSarahBitch: I want to thank you for being so supportive.
rebecca_east: YOU KILLED A CHILD?!?!?
EvilSarahBitch: No. Like you said. Its MY body. Not the childs.
rebecca_east: I DIDNT KNOW HE WAS ALIVE!!!!!!
rebecca_east: OMGGGGGGG
rebecca_east: CALL 911!!!
EvilSarahBitch: No I can handle it from here.
EvilSarahBitch: Thank you again for all your help.
EvilSarahBitch: I don't think I could have done it without you.
EvilSarahBitch: Rebecca?
EvilSarahBitch: Are you there?
EvilSarahBitch: Rebecca?

ROFLMAO

hahahahaha

so evil

where did that all happen? :D VU chat??

Best peice of role playing ever :DD

Cheesedog: Well hello there
VictimX_21: Hey
VictimX_21: : _
VictimX_21: oops
VictimX_21: : }
Cheesedog: You're a drama major huh?
VictimX_21: Yep. I like acting and the theater.
Cheesedog: Me too. I act like a jackass all the time.
VictimX_21: lol
VictimX_21: what are you doing??
Cheesedog: Nothing.... just sittin around
Cheesedog: Are you alone?
VictimX_21: yes
Cheesedog: hehehe
Cheesedog: cool
VictimX_21: why you got a plan??
Cheesedog: well, I didn't have one but I could make one.
VictimX_21: Hummmmmm
Cheesedog: Do YOU have a plan?
VictimX_21: nope
VictimX_21: but im sure I could come up with one
Cheesedog: Whatta you say we make one?
VictimX_21: we can do that
Cheesedog: What did you have in mind?
VictimX_21: hummmmm
Cheesedog: A hummer?
VictimX_21: lol no silly
VictimX_21: don't mind me
VictimX_21: where are you from if i may ask
Cheesedog: I'm from Maryland
VictimX_21: same here
VictimX_21: im in southern illinois
Cheesedog: No way!
Cheesedog: what part?
VictimX_21: near Carbondale
VictimX_21: why??
Cheesedog: I am near Salisbury, MD.
VictimX_21: where is that
Cheesedog: It's on the Eastern Shore, near the Ocean.
VictimX_21: ok
Cheesedog: You're into acting right?
VictimX_21: Mmmmm hmmmm
Cheesedog: Do you want to practice with me?
VictimX_21: Sure
VictimX_21: ever hear of a town called jonesboro illinois?
Cheesedog: No, I sure havent
Cheesedog: Is it anything like Mayberry?
VictimX_21: lmfaooooooooo
Cheesedog: I can do a mean Barney Fife
Cheesedog: check this out
Cheesedog: "Hey Andy.... I'm gonna run up to Mt. Pilot and get me some Dillsnitch!"
Cheesedog: "AIN'T THAT SWELL ANDY?"
VictimX_21: LOL
VictimX_21: your cute
Cheesedog: Thank you.
Cheesedog: and Andy says "Now Barney.... you know Aunt Bee is gonna have yer hide!"
VictimX_21: yvvw hun
Cheesedog: Wanna have some fun?
VictimX_21: sure
Cheesedog: Ok. I'll dress up like Barney.
Cheesedog: And we'll make our own Andy Griffith Show
Cheesedog: It would be good practice for you.
VictimX_21: lol ok
Cheesedog: ok here we go
Cheesedog: Ok, I'll be Barney Fife and you can be my girlfriend, Thelma Lou.
VictimX_21: ok lmao.
Cheesedog: **Walks up the wodden stars to you rporch and knocks on the front door**
Cheesedog: Knock Knock Knock!
VictimX_21: Wh's there?
Cheesedog: "Well, it's me, Thelma Lou. Are you ready to go to the dance?"
VictimX_21: lol this is too strange
Cheesedog: "Huh? What do you mean, darlin?"
Cheesedog: Are you gonna open the door?
VictimX_21: Ok. Sorry.
VictimX_21: One second Barney.
Cheesedog: **paces back and forth on the porch**
Cheesedog: **whistles to himself**
VictimX_21: **opens the front door**
Cheesedog: "Well, gollee, Thelma Lou. Don't you look pritty."
VictimX_21: Thank you Barney.
Cheesedog: Aww, shucks. You're welcome.
Cheesedog: "We got a little while before the dance. Why don't we have a seat on the porch swing?"
VictimX_21: Ok.
Cheesedog: **we both sit on the porch swing**
Cheesedog: Offer me some lemonade, whore.
VictimX_21: EXCUSE ME?
Cheesedog: Oops. I meant, "Hey Thelma, I could sure go for some Lemonade."
VictimX_21: You called me a whore asshole
Cheesedog: "Aww, shucks Thelma. I'm sorry."
VictimX_21: I dont want to play this anymore. Quit calling me Thelma.
Cheesedog: I didn't mean to type that. I hit the wrong key.
Cheesedog: I'm sorry.
Cheesedog: Hello?
VictimX_21: ok
Cheesedog: Ok. I'm sorry.
Cheesedog: Are you ready to start again?
VictimX_21: yeah ok
Cheesedog: Alright, here we go.
Cheesedog: "Aww, nevermind about that lemonade Thelma. We don't have much time."
VictimX_21: Ok Barney. Don't act like a jackass.
Cheesedog: "Yaaawwwnn. Boy, this fresh air sure makes me tired."
Cheesedog: **I stretch real big and put my arm around your sholder.**
VictimX_21: **I look at you suspiciously**
Cheesedog: "Thelma, you're so pretty. Can I have a kiss?"
VictimX_21: Lol. ok barney.
VictimX_21: but just one. we're not married yet.
Cheesedog: **blushes**
VictimX_21: *closes her eyes and puckers up waiting for a kiss
Cheesedog: **Leans over to kiss you**
VictimX_21: *turns her head so that you only get a kiss on the cheek
Cheesedog: What the hell?
VictimX_21: LMFAO!! Hahaha
Cheesedog: "Listen Thelma. I'm getting a little tired of your games"
Cheesedog: "Just because I'm not a tough guy like Andy doesn't mean I'm not a man."
Cheesedog: "A man with NEEDS"
VictimX_21: what?
Cheesedog: **Grips the back of your head and forces your face into my lap**
Cheesedog: "Suck it bitch!"
VictimX_21: thats it bye.
Cheesedog: **Slaps you in the face**
Cheesedog: You're not going anywhere, you cock tease!
Cheesedog: I'm tired of you prancin' around, gettin' me all juiced up all the time, Thelma!
VictimX_21: I'm not playing anymore you're an asshole.
Cheesedog: SHUT UP!
Cheesedog: **Rips your dress down, exposing one of your breasts**
Cheesedog: **Stands up real fast!**
Cheesedog: **Trying to get gun belt off**
Cheesedog: **Fumbles with gun trying to get it off the holster**
Cheesedog: **Gun falls on the ground and goes off**
Cheesedog: **Bullet goes through your head**

Cheesedog: OH NO! ANDY'S GONNA KILL ME!
VictimX_21: What in the hell is the matter with you?
Cheesedog: "NOW I'VE DONE IT!"
Cheesedog: Don't talk.
Cheesedog: Your dead.
Cheesedog: **Well, since nobody's here, I might as well get some of...**
Cheesedog: **of Thelma's dead pussy**
VictimX_21: JESUS! WHAT THE FUCK?!?
Cheesedog: mmmgGMMPMMPHHHHhhhhh
Cheesedog: **Tastes like formaldahide already...**
Cheesedog: **Tugs at zipper trying to get pants off**
VictimX_21: OMGGGGGGGGGG
Cheesedog: Shhhh! SHUT the fuck UP!
Cheesedog: Your still dead, ok?
VictimX_21: You're a fucking sicko!
Cheesedog: **Whips out a huge black dildo**
Cheesedog: **Fumbles with dildo trying to rub lubrication on it...**
Cheesedog: **Dildo falls on the porch**
Cheesedog: **Cornchips and lint are stuck all over it**
Cheesedog: **puts it inside you**
VictimX_21: STOP IT YOU SICK FUCK!
Cheesedog: What's the matter? Does it hurt?
Cheesedog: Well maybe if you'd sweep off your fucking porch once in a while..
Cheesedog: ...you wouldn't be getting scratched with fucking corchips right now, you filthy whore!
Cheesedog: **Takes out the dildo and moves it to your mouth**
Cheesedog: **Cracks a few teeth trying to get the dildo to go in smoothly**
VictimX_21: Leave me alone you fucking pyscho!
Cheesedog: **Then you wake up!**
Cheesedog: It didn't kill you afterall
Cheesedog: I just winged you. And took off an ear.
Cheesedog: Ok. Now you take over.
VictimX_21: Fuck you
Cheesedog: Awww. Come on.
Cheesedog: Let's get the strap-on out of my squad car.
Cheesedog: And you can punish my ass for chipping your teeth.
Cheesedog: Are you there?
Cheesedog: Thelma?
Cheesedog: Hello?
Cheesedog: You're not going to tall Andy about this, are you?
VictimX_21: <User not found>

Seen the first one before, but the other 2 are major funny!

I wish you did

I have had that site bookmarked for quite some time. Aside from the old Bloodninja ones, the best "entertainer" on that site has always been Cheesedog; who really never makes new content. Here is my favorite one from 2002.

Cheesedog enters a depression chat group and decided to start an IM conversation with a man who's mother abused him and uses the internet to escape from reality:

cheesedog: Are you the guy who was abused by his mom?
slovic1971: yeah why?
cheesedog: I'm a counsellor. I can help you?
slovic1971: I dun think so
cheesedog: why do you say that?
slovic1971: I've tried therapy
slovic1971: it din help much
cheesedog: Well...I'm different.
slovic1971: i've heard that two
slovic1971: too
cheesedog: No, really
cheesedog: I'm practicing a new form of therapy
slovic1971: whats that?
cheesedog: Would you like to try?
slovic1971: no
cheesedog: What have you got to lose?
slovic1971: No thanks
slovic1971: :P
cheesedog: I just want to help
slovic1971: what kind of a name is cheesedog anyway?
cheesedog: What kind of a name is slovic1971?
slovic1971: its my everquest name?
cheesedog: I've played that.
slovic1971: did you like it?
cheesedog: Nope. Just a bunch of losers running around acting like elves
slovic1971: HEY FUCK YOU!
cheesedog: Where did that come from?
cheesedog: I'm trying to help you
slovic1971: I love that game
slovic1971: So don't shit on it.
cheesedog: Let me guess.
cheesedog: It's your escape from reality, right?
slovic1971: Somethin like that.
cheesedog: What did your mom do to you?
slovic1971: I told you I dun wanna talk about it
slovic1971: Now leave me alone.
cheesedog: Look, I've been there ok. I can relate.
slovic1971: good for you
cheesedog: I'm reaching out.
slovic1971: I just got the new one
cheesedog: Huh?
slovic1971: Sorry wrong person.
cheesedog: oh ok
cheesedog: So do you cyber on Everquest?
slovic1971: what?
cheesedog: I wanted to know if sex with Elves is cool.
slovic1971: I dun want your help.
slovic1971: leave me with my "Elves"
cheesedog: Check this out.
cheesedog: My mom used to beat me for going outside without a hat.
slovic1971: thats fucked up
cheesedog: Yeah it is. And she made me eat peas and shit.
slovic1971: so?
cheesedog: THATS MY PAIN!
cheesedog: You know how gross peas are?
slovic1971: Is that it?
cheesedog: Yep. Do I need anymore reason?
slovic1971: thats shit man
slovic1971: My mom used to beat me with shoe horns when I got one speck of dirt on the carpet.
cheesedog: What?!?
slovic1971: Yeah. I have scars from where it broke the skin.
cheesedog: LMAOOOO
slovic1971: What the fuck is so funny?
cheesedog: That lol
slovic1971: What?
cheesedog: What you just said.
slovic1971: that shit about you eating peas?
cheesedog: No LOL
cheesedog: That shit about your mom kicking your ass!
cheesedog: Thats some funny shit there!
slovic1971: you think thats funny?
cheesedog: Hell yeah!
slovic1971: HEY FUCK YOU ASSHOLE
cheesedog: C'mon dude. Let's bond.
cheesedog: Let's laugh at our misfortune together.
cheesedog: My mom used pull my hair out.
cheesedog: You there?
cheesedog: C'mon laugh
slovic1971: You're not funny
cheesedog: She used to spank me for sneaking out too.
slovic1971: You think that's something bad?
slovic1971: You're a fuckwad
cheesedog: It is bad!
slovic1971: You ever been burned by a curling iron across your thigh?
cheesedog: Yeah
slovic1971: Liar
cheesedog: Okay. You got me. No, I haven't.
slovic1971: Well I have
slovic1971: by my drunk mother.
cheesedog: Did she sexually abuse you?
cheesedog: Hello?
cheesedog: Dude, c'mon.
slovic1971: Yes
cheesedog: LMAOOOO!!!
slovic1971: FUCK YOU!
cheesedog: LMAOOOOO!
cheesedog: HAAAAAAHHHH AHAHAH!
cheesedog: LMAOO!!!!!
cheesedog: Stop it! I can't breathe... you're hilarious!
slovic1971: You not a counselor.
slovic1971: I dun know why you want to fuck with me.
slovic1971: Just leave me alone, fuckwasd.
cheesedog: This is a new treatment. It's called "Laugh Therapy"
slovic1971: It pisses people off!
cheesedog: What is your real name?
slovic1971: Nice try
cheesedog: I won't tell anyone.
slovic1971: Piss off
cheesedog: Is it Daniel Prutolski?
cheesedog: Daniel?
slovic1971: HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW MY FUCKING NAME?
cheesedog: I got sources.
cheesedog: Isn't that name Polish?
slovic1971: Who are you?
cheesedog: Damn Daniel. Your mom kicks your ass...AND you're a POLLOCK!
slovic1971: HEY FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!
slovic1971: I BEEN HEARING THAT SHIT MY WHOLE LIFE!!!!
slovic1971: I'LL BE DAMNED IF I'M GONNA HEAR IT FROM YOU!!!
slovic1971: SO FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE!
cheesedog: Hey Daniel, how did the pollock break his arm while raking leaves?
cheesedog: He fell out of the tree!
cheesedog: LMAOOOOO
slovic1971: FUCK YOU ASSLICKING COCKSUCKING SON OF A BITCH!!!
slovic1971: I FUCKING HATE YOU!
cheesedog: Do you kiss your mom with that mouth?
cheesedog: Oh wait. I forgot. You DO kiss her with that mouth.
cheesedog: LMAOOOO
slovic1971: I'm gonna find you.
cheesedog: Really?
slovic1971: And you're gonna be in for a world of hurt when I do.
cheesedog: As long as you don't burn me with a curling iron.
slovic1971: YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING DIE!!!
slovic1971: DO YOU HEAR WHAT I'M SAYING TO YOU????
slovic1971: YOU'RE FUCKING DEADDDDDDDDD
cheesedog: I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me.
slovic1971: Too late for that.
slovic1971: I'm gonna hurt you so bad you are gonna wish you were dead!!!
cheesedog: Please.... I beg you.
slovic1971: Not so funny now is it?
cheesedog: Pollock.
slovic1971: THATS IT!
cheesedog: AAHH HA AHHAHAHAH
slovic1971: I'm coming to get you.
slovic1971: dun fall asleep.
cheesedog: WWAAAHHHH HAHAHAHAHAH!!
slovic1971: <User Has Logged Out>

OMG hahaha im not suppost to laugh at tht but XD hahahh

LMAO common guys some more....that one made me have a laughing fit!

Damn, I missed the edit by just a few minutes. I found one of the good ones, but it is far from his finest work:

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.

j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.

bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.

j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.

j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.

bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.

j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.

j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.

j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.

j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.

bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.

bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.

j_gurli3: thats it.

bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.

bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------


bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?

BritneySpears14: Aight.

bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.

BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.

bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.

bloodninja: Me too baby.

BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.

bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.

BritneySpears14: Hey...

bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.

BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.

bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuck of the Beyondness.

BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.

bloodninja: Don't fuck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.

bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.

BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit!

bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.

bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.

bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.

bloodninja: Baby?

haha OMG mann this sht is funny XD

Sorry, but those were really the only humorous bloodninja IM conversations that I could find. There are more on the link posted above to the Fugly website that came after the Bloodninja IM logs huge internet success, but many don't come anywhere near the same quality as the work they are trying to imitate.

This style of IM pranking has since died out with social networking shifting from the more anonymous AIM, to websites like facebook where people are more accountable and it is harder to successfully do a quality thing like this.

If this style of semi-malicious humor interests you as much as it did for me, then research PartyVan Pranks. They basically used Skype to prank call people because not even the police could trace the calls (Trust me, they fucked with the police all the time. They would say “What, are you tracing the call with your etch-a-sketch!?), but it was not the "Is you refrigerator running lol go catch it" type of shit. The pranks were done live and transmitted over Ventrillo. At first, there were maybe 20 listeners myself included. When it was leaked to 4chan and other outlets, the used exploded to 400+ listeners. Sadly, it ruined the operation. The pranks were really some extreme and illegal shit. They were HILARIOUS though, like calling a teenager and posing as a worker from a free clinic calling to inform the victim that she was listed as a "recent sexual contact" to someone who had tested positive for HIV/AIDS, then talking to the victims parents. Or the more classic calls to 711's posing as a worker from the security companies that made the store's silent alarm, and then prompting the Indian worker to press it and tell the police that there is a robbery going on in order to "test the alarm system".

Many of the pranks were extremely malicious, and as listeners came, they became more and more extreme. It shifted from pranks in good humor where I could talk and joke with the prankers as well as share new ideas, up to a 500 man shithole of prankers making bombthreats. Eventually, the FBI shut the Ventrillo down due to the reports of bomb threats and 3 of the Prank Callers were arrested. I believe that 1 is still awaiting trial, he was 17 and the Patriot Act was invoked. Due to the illegal nature of the calls, the prankers asked the the listeners did not record the calls.

I am not going to do the digging to find some of the recorded calls for you Brown Bear, but If you found some, I am sure it would be worth your search.

There are still some imitators of the PartyVan Pranks around in vent servers, but none are as extreme or as humorous

lol fugly is such a website! that cheesedog owns!

Check out Bash.org.
A whole website of chat hilarity.
go on, indulge.

=]

what website is this on?

If you still can't figure it out, press on the "here" in the statement by Stoned Polar Bear above!

VictimX-18

cheesedog: Hey there ma black soul sista VictimX_18: Hey dawg VictimX_18: you wanna chat a lil cheesedog: Ain't no skin off ma back jellyroll VictimX_18: hey now i aint fat cheesedog: I din say that VictimX_18: you called me jellyroll cheesedog: cause you sweet and soft VictimX_18: You come to AA chat often? cheesedog: aa? VictimX_18: African American cheesedog: Yeah baby. I gots ta be wit ma peoples VictimX_18: where do you live? cheesedog: In da projects babe cheesedog: imma jive soul bro knowutimsayin? VictimX_18: no VictimX_18: i mean what city and state cheesedog: Ohhhh right ma nubian princess cheesedog: I live in Salisbury, MD VictimX_18: I'm in CA cheesedog: Whats a sista like you doin in a cracker ass place like CA VictimX_18: it aint so bad cheesedog: It's fulla white boyz cheesedog: I aint down with dat shit VictimX_18: I'm not in Beverly Hills. I'm in LA cheesedog: What do you do out there? VictimX_18: I'm a hairstylist cheesedog: dats what i mean VictimX_18: ?? cheesedog: Just another case of the man trying to keep a sista down VictimX_18: I like my job cheesedog: Fuck dat. We need more Black Doctors and Lawyers cheesedog: Not another hairdresser VictimX_18: I dont have that kinda money VictimX_18: What do you do? cheesedog: I pick turnips VictimX_18: and you critizing me on my job cheesedog: Its the man holding me back cheesedog: Neva givin a brotha a break VictimX_18: You can do whatever you want to do cheesedog: I dun live in LA cheesedog: My boy Ice Pick used to live out there VictimX_18: you mean Ice Cube? cheesedog: Whateva his name is cheesedog: dats ma nigga there VictimX_18: HEY VictimX_18: Dont say that cheesedog: say what? VictimX_18: Nigger cheesedog: I didn't say nigger cheesedog: I said nigga VictimX_18: thats why we cant get nowhere today VictimX_18: you keep using that kinda talk cheesedog: Kill the white man VictimX_18: dun say that cheesedog: BLACK POWER VictimX_18: Are you a militant? cheesedog: Yeah ma black african queen cheesedog: Kill Whitey!!!! VictimX_18: Do you have a picture of yourself? cheesedog: For you baby... of course VictimX_18: thank you cheesedog: Here ya go. *PIC* cheesedog: I be the one on da right my lucious chocolate queen VictimX_18: Is this a joke? cheesedog: no VictimX_18: You're a white guy! cheesedog: No. Imma black soul brother. VictimX_18: The picture you sent me was of a skinny white man cheesedog: Ma mom always told me its not the color of your skin on the outside that counts. cheesedog: It's what color you are on the inside VictimX_18: You whiter than Casper! cheesedog: its all skin slappin on the downside you dig? VictimX_18: What? cheesedog: I gotz da skillz ta do what dat jive turkey needs rubbin babycakes VictimX_18: What the hell are you talking about? cheesedog: I'm gettin Jiggy wit it you dig soul sista? VictimX_18: I dun understand a damn thing you just said cheesedog: But you is a knee-grow isn't you? VictimX_18: HEY!!! VictimX_18: DONT BE CALLIN ME NO NEGRO cheesedog: I be eatin some bomb ass watermellins right nowzz beeothch cheesedog: You want some VictimX_18: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE cheesedog: I know you does cheesedog: Let me take you to dinner. cheesedog: You ma Nubian Princess. cheesedog: Ma Brown shuga cheesedog: We can go to KFC cheesedog: oh mabe we can go to da Popeyes cheesedog: you dig? cheesedog: You there? cheesedog: Answer me sista souljahh.